Sharkiteuthis Diving Co. LLC
All rights reserved.
The Sharkiteuthis character and logo,
and Zombie Apocalypse Diver
Logo and Program are trademarks of
the Sharkiteuthis Diving Co. LLC.
You and your family have just arrived at your island paradise. You landed
three hours late, your airline lost the luggage and the bar is closed. How could
this vacation get any worse? You ask yourself quietly. Then suddenly you
have your answer: Zombies!
The Zombie Apocalypse has happened and hoardes of the walking dead are
aimlessly moving about. Your vacation was an inconvenience , now it is a
disaster. Zombies are approaching fast and looking for their next meal: You.
Searching for any means of escape you can find it dawns on you....you have
the most sought after SCUBA certification in the world, you are a certified
Zombie Apocalypse Diver!
How will this story end?
That is up to you! Will you become another member of the zombie hoard or
will you be able to survive the apocalypse alive and well?
98% of divers feel they are unprepared for a zombie apocalypse according to
a recent survey we created and then falsified. To answer this incredibly high
demand, we created a fun and challenging dive course to allow divers of all
levels a chance to hone their skills for an impending apocalypse. If you've been
diving for years, or are brand new then this course has something for you.
Each student will be given a copy of the Zombie Apocalypse Diver Student
Manual and Survival Guide. This book won the highly coveted Pulitzer Prize*.
Successful completion of the course will entitle each student to a Zombie
This class was designed with the diver in mind. You will learn:
-Types of Zombies
-Real Life Zombies
-Search and Recovery Skills
Upon successful completion of the course: A plethora, yes a plethora, of
accolades will be bestowed upon the diver.
First and foremost is a certificate suitable for framing. Not that there are any
frames left after the apocalypse, but you can use it as kindling.
Second you get your PADI certification card which clearly states that you hold
the rank of Zombie Apocalypse Diver! Not that anyone will check your C-card
after the world ends.
And finally, a bracelet to commemorate your training in survival diving. The
bracelet is made with real zombie skin. Wearing it will help mask your odor to
avoid the herd of walkers.
Nothing says couture like a silicone bracelet.
*The manual has not in fact won a Pulitzer Prize.